Some of the kids on campus went on an Independent Living trip sponsored by the state. Part of the trip consisted of a scavenger hunt to the Health Department (and other agencies.) I am not sure if it was part of the hunt, but some of the boys received condoms. The housemom tried calling the chain of command but since it was Friday, nobody is here. We are funded mostly by the state but a lot is from a denomination which probably believes we are moral and ethical. What would you do as a houseparent? Would you take away the condoms? Would it be a double standard as some of our girls are on birth control (which I disagree in also.) Just wanted to get your take on things. Thanks!
I’d take them away. And then repeat the sessions on why abstinence is best… (I’ve not seen this yet so don’t know how good it is, but apparently the facility does run them)
We also try to keep close track of our kids “associations” in order to not provide opportunity to need them!
It would most definitely present a double standard but the youth entrusted to our care are not OURS.
They have a right to the information and options presented them.
You can guide them as well as inform them but your opinion is yours and others have opinions as well.
Speak to their Case workers and Family members and look to what the Family’s views are as well.
Condoms are readily available in schools, youth centers and on.
You are living in the Dark Ages and trying to keep kids there as well if you are trying to keep these kids isolated from these type of issues.
Oh, just go ahead and make a comfy room for them to go have sex in too while you are at it…
I don’t believe that you are keeping the kids in the “Dark Ages” if you appropriately talk to the kids about sex. Does our younger kids need to be initiated too??? Today while one of our boys were cleaning out the van that they used on this outing, there was a pamphlet about oral sex. Just what I wanted our young boys to find out about. Yes, we talk to them about it. Yes, I know it is out there and they probably know WAY too much but can’t they be boys instead of men? Times are changing but they don’t have to. If you take a stand, it might make a difference. People wonder why our world is going down the tubes, well this is one contribution…
Can ya tell I am passionate about this???
I never suggested that you do not talk to them or present them with alternatives as well as your viewpoints.
You’re overreacting a bit.
It is good to be passionate but don’t let your passion undermine your work.
Let a kid find out that he has been kept from information or services he is entitled to and you will lose not only his trust but very possibly all the work you have put into him/her up to that point.
I am Catholic and raised 3 daughters and have 2 Granddaughters. My personal beliefs on the subject probably mirror yours.
However there is much to be concerned with in the care of children entrusted to us and there are many times that the rights of the children in our care as well as their families will require you to put your personal beliefs aside.
Let an organization that is presenting options to these kids find out you are isolating them or taking away from them information they already were either commissioned to provide or arranged to provide and you’ll place your program at risk. Especially if you are taking any state or federal money.
If you approach them with a close mind they simply will shut you out when they look to make decisions.
And you certainly want to be able to have their trust to come to you even with difficult decisions that you might not like.
And I think you’re extremely overboard with the idea that our world is going down the tubes because Agencies present Birth Control options to youth.
I worked most recently with Teenage boys from the streets of Los Angeles.
Many would go home to their families and the streets of LA on weekends even though it was against our advice and outside of our programs desired structure. A common occurrence of ganglife is “jumping in” new members and associated female gangs indoctrinating a new girl might make that young lady be gang banged by the boys of their affiliated gang.
Unfortunately we had kids live one life with us and a different life at home.
I would rather they had condoms and the understanding of how to use them properly than to not.
That’s the reality of some of this work.
We can teach the kids and give them choices while they are with us but we have to remain understanding to the reality of the life they often return to.
I apologize as I should have made myself more clear. We are church run home and I guess I am just disappointed in the stance of our administration on this issue. This is the real issue. Do we take a stand for God or are we going to be lukewarm and blow wherever the “state” wants to take us.
I think if the rules of the facility allow them to have the condoms then you have to be very careful if you take them away. If the home does not allow them then I would have to say they need to be picked up.
This issue is a major argument between people in the business.
When you have your personal moral beliefs and the rules and guidelines set before you. I believe firmly in abstinence. It is my choice though where I work. I have to make sure I am aware of the policies of the home and then pray and ask God where He would have me.
We can not go somewhere knowing the policy thinking we can change it. If we are unaware of the policy and find out later that it is different than our own beliefs then God has to tell you to stay or go.
The problem is that there is no policy regarding this and so far, we have not gotten any answer from administration. I suppose that by working for a “Christian” agency, we would uphold God’s desire but hey, I might be wrong! You are right, where you work is a choice and one I might have to make soon but we shall see…