Cranial Four Point Of Contact Disorder

I have noticed something amazing about child psychological diagnosis. It’s a lot of guess work, a little background information and a whole lot of “What’s the flavor of the month”.

When I first began my career, the catch phrase was “Attention Deficit Disorder”. If a kid didn’t have that label on his intake sheet, he just wasn’t cool. The following year was big on “Bi-Polar Disorder” followed by “Attachment Disorder” which later became a much cooler sounding and ominous “Reactive Attachment Disorder” or “RAD” for short.

Who could forget the catch phrase for 2006, “Oppositional Defiant Disorder”, I call it JERK for short.

All of these are very real symptoms and terms (except for the one about being a jerk- thats my own term) and we have all dealt with legitimate cases. But it just seems to odd to me that every kid in a certain year will have the same diagnosis and kids the following year who present similar behaviors will all be labeled with another diagnosis.

What’s really fun is to actually buy a copy of the DSM 4 and look up all the labels your kids have. Some of them will be dead on, others will have you scratching your head wondering how in the world someone could have came up with that diagnosis for that kid.

I’m no shrink and to be honest, I would probably benefit from some serious psychiatric help and/ or confinement. Nevertheless, I wonder how some of these diagnosis become all the rage only to go out of style after a year or so. It must revolve around conferences or something.

Even worse than a Psychologist guessing at what disorder a kid has, is a HP making the diagnosis. Many of you out there are very bright and intelligent, but too many times I have seen an HP go on the war-path to get a kid diagnosed just the same as their retarded cousin Jimmy because they both eat crayons. It’s above our pay-scale folks, let it go. You may be right, little Johnny is an Idiot Savant. But does it really change anything in your cottage or how you teach to the kid?

I will now use my powers of blogging to create a new catch phrase that the industry can latch onto and savor for the next six months or until a cooler diagnosis comes along.

Are you ready for it? Here it comes……

Cranial Four Point Of Contact Disorder Formerly known as “Head in butt”.

Throw this term out in the next treatment or planning meeting you have. Someone will nod their head like they know exactly what your talking about and may even say something about themselves writing a college paper about it. Chances are they suffer from this very disorder.

CFPOCD covers most child behaviors and by coincidence the majority of adult behaviors. That kid that you told to make their bed ten times before coming out of the room? CFPOCD sufferer. Your supervisor that is always 30 minutes late to their own meeting? CFPOCD like a big dog.

Treatment will consist of Nyquil or Tylenol PM. The only cure is for the individual to be asleep where they can not harm themselves or anyone else.

If you hear anyone throwing the term around, remember, you heard it hear first. -Launch