Motivational Speaker

    I give this speech at least once a day in my cottage.

Sometimes I get a little long winded and go into lecture mode. After a few minutes of me talking, my wife will tap me on the shoulder and only then do I realize the kid is all glassey eyed and drool is coming out of one side of their mouth.

I’ve learned not to bring up my own past indiscretions and how those choices have hurt me in this life. Those kind of conversations tend to get really twisted in the head of a pre-teen. I tried giving a motivational talk to a boy at our first facility that had been trying to purchase pot in school. I told him about how most of my buddies I grew up smoking with in my neighborhood were either dead, in jail, homeless or a preacher (go figure). Somehow that turned into a big story around campus how I love smoking crack and vacation in Columbia. 

As a general rule, personal stories are just a bad thing to do. The kids don’t really care about the 80’s anyway and reminiscing about the good old days always makes you sound old.

Maybe I’ll just start forcing them to read my blog instead of lecturing. Both are equally painful.-Launch