The Golden Rule

I have been a houseparent for 9 years and have worked at three different facilities and one thing that is common to all three facilities is how the staff can sometimes bad mouth, gossip about and put down other staff. I know I have done, I’m afraid much too often. However, as I mature I hope I am beginning to recognise the destructiveness of it and will hopefully do it much less often.

I have also come to realize that when I make those statements or have those thoughts that I often times have no clue of what the situation is and my perception is usually wrong. For example:

  • I have said or heard said something like, “Why is it that we are always having to work and Johnny is never here helping? He is so lazy.” There were times when Johnny was just being lazy, but there were also times that Johnny was busy doing something else he was asked to do by another administrator and I should have been minding my own business.
  • I have also seen other houses be given something and became jealous, wondering why I didn’t get something similar. Not realizing that they had a specific need for the item they received.
  • I have also gossiped about other houseparents for not following this rule or that rule, paying absolutely zero attention to the rules I felt were insignificant and didn’t follow.
  • I have pondered many times why in a field where we are supposed to be helping others, we often times work so hard to tear each other down. Maybe it’s the stress and pressure of dealing with difficult behaviors. Maybe it’s the fact that we usually live so close together, spend so much time together doing the same things that we just get tired of each other. Maybe we are trying to establish some sort of pecking order. I don’t know, but I would love to hear ideas for building up rather than tearing down.

    I hope that those I have hurt will forgive me, that I will do much better at building others up and less tearing down, and that we all can find unity as we work to help hurting and troubled children

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