After having worked on Valentines Day the last three years my wife is a little frustrated. This year I have a plan in the works. You may want to take notes or print this blog out. Now, let me show you the ways of love…
Phase One- Tell all the boys they have unlimited Playstation time. I will also let them know that I think they are all responsible enough to decide who can play next. Within 30 minutes there should be some name calling and at least one fight. That will be just enough to get them sentenced to early bed. It may be borderline ethical, possibly even evil, but all is fair in love and war.
Phase Two- Operation Taco Bell. The trick to cooking for my wife will be to get a couple of combo meals from the bell, throw it on the finest china we have in the cottage (two plates with a few chips in them) and drop a few comments about having to cook all day.
Phase Three- Since our facility strongly frowns upon alcohol inebriation while on duty, I will be serving up nothing but the finest in grape juice from the food bank stock. The expiration says 1999, I will tell my wife it was a good year and all the sludge on the bottom of the bottle is what you look for when picking a vintage juice product.
Phase Four- Set the scene. Since the fire marshall prohibits any candles being burned in the cottage, I will borrow some of the kids night-lights to set a nice ambiance in the living room. Sure a couple of the kids are scared of the dark, but again it goes back to the love and war thing.
Phase Five- Slow jams. I have provided a Youtube link on the blog here to a Christopher Cross video, “Sailing”. If this does not melt your wife’s heart, nothing will. This is the epitome of Adult Contemporary Classics. Or as the kids call it, “Elevator music”. Just crank the computer volume all the way up and invite her for a nice slow dance in the living-room.
Phase Six- This is the part where things are going great. Your happy, the wife is happy and the world is as it should be, happy. That is about when one of the kids runs down stairs and tells my wife I swiped their night-light. My wife will return night-lights and read a book to them to put them back to sleep. Romantic evening should be just about killed by this point.
Phase Seven- Snuggle on the couch to watch romantic episodes of “CSI”. Nothing like a good crime thriller to put you both to sleep.
I’m hoping that phase six doesn’t happen, but we all know in some form or fashion it will. I am open to suggestions if any one has another plan that will be a little more successful. Casanova I am not.
Well that’s it. Launch’s Valentines Day extravaganza. Happy Valentines Day. -Launch