Question #18 – 9/9/2007 How long should a couple be married?

 How long should a couple be married before they begin a houseparent position together? Thanks.

Mike’s Response

It totally depends on the facility and the couple.  Some facilities require that a couple be married for at least one or two years, others don’t have any set requirements.  In most cases I think you should wait at least a year, and think it wouldn’t be a bad idea to wait two or three years.  Being a houseparent is an extremely stressful position and can test even the best marriages, I can’t even imagine how difficult it would be while trying to get to know the intimacies of your spouse and building a marriage.  Being a houseparent is an opportunity to show your strengths, but it also seems to reveal you faults and weaknesses.

However, unless the facilities sets a time limit, it is a choice you as a couple need to make.  I do know of a couple that were both single houseparents at a facility, fell in love, got married, and started a family all while being houseparents. I have also known of couples that have done it fairly successfully as newlyweds, so it just depends on your situation. 

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