Every morning it’s the same drag. “Pick up your room”, “We’re not eating breakfast till you get dressed”, “Flush the toilet”, “Stop choking him”, “Pick up your room”, “Where’s your book bag”, “Stop choking him”, “Brush your teeth”, “DUDE STOP CHOKING HIM, HE’S TURNING BLUE!!!”.
It’s pretty much a familiar scenario played out across this great nation every morning in families with more than one kid.
Some mornings are worse than others, but for the most part the boys do a half way decent job getting out the door and to the bus in the morning. We even manage to knock out chores most days.
But, all of my boys would rather attempt a shortcut and have to re-do the task 100 times while spending all of their free time doing it, rather than take 5 minutes to do it the right way and be done with it. For example- bedrooms.
I can not even begin to tell you all the places I have found where they stash CLEAN laundry just to keep from folding it. I had a kid one time that put on four T-shirts and two pairs of pants to keep from spending the 2 minutes of arduous labor it would take to fold them and stuff it all in a drawer. I’ve found clothes out in the woods behind the house and hung from windowsills.
Every boy in the house knows that the first place I look EVERY blasted morning is under the bed. Yet every morning it looks like a Long Island scrap yard under there. Broken and twisted toys that I could have sworn I threw away the day before, candy wrappers and books. You would think eventually they would figure it out, I mean they are eight years old, but man- get a clue.
And the smell. Every morning it smells like they all went to a chili cook off in the middle of the night. I am convinced they retain gas all day in school just to go home at night and torture each other with noxious fumes throughout the night.
In all fairness I’m no joy in the morning myself. I normally throw on last nights clothes, take a swig of courage from the coffee pot that was left on all night long, shake out meds to the kids that need them while they make fun of me for having only one sock on. Sunshine ain’t my thing.
I would complain to my wife but every-time I bring up the boys laundry issues she is quick to point out that all of my CLEAN laundry that she neatly folded, is laying on my side of the bed. At least she has not complained about how bad I smell in the morning.
Once we all get out the door and see the bus turning the corner, we all smile. For all of us it means we lived through another pre dawn fiasco and are one step closer to sleeping in on Saturday. -Launch