It’s The End Of The World As We Know It

Day 1: After 8 months of waiting for a sponsor to donate a video game system, I received a phone call from the office to come and pick up a Playstation2. Immediately I am overcome with the joy of surprising the boys with such a generous gift. I skip to the office and return to the cottage to install the system in the special area of the living room we have set aside for this moment.

I am also reminded of the fact that I challenged the webmaster of our beloved network to a video game timer build off. I can taste the sweet victory of my obvious man skills surpassing that of the webmaster. First I must research (play) some of the games to make sure they will be appropriate for the kids.

Day 2: The kids have completed all chores in record time. Their bedrooms even have the pleasant smell of pine. They seem to be very motivated by earning the privilege of playing the Playstation.

I have gathered materials at Home Depot and Radio Shack to build the timer. I draw up plans using a variety of crayons for the different components. I marvel at my genius and stick like drawing skills.

The boys are having difficulty taking turns on the game. There is tension in the air. I need to hurry and finish the timer project to keep the peace.

Day 3: I stayed up until 5-am researching the game “Medal Of Honor”. My wife asked my why I would play a game that long, I tell her it is for the good of the boys that I make sure it will be appropriate for them to play. She shakes her head and walks off to the other room saying something under her breath about me being full of something…

The boys had a fist fight over playing time. I started using the egg timer to keep time limits fair. Meanwhile my video timer is not coming together like it should. I need to hurry, I feel as though something really bad is going to happen soon.

The boys have figured out that when I’m not looking they can turn the dial back on the egg timer and get more playtime. At least they are working together for a common cause now.

Day 4: In a fit of rage, frustration and tears, I threw my plans in the dumpster and all the components to the timer in the attic. As I came down the stairs I could hear my wife and the boys quietly giggling. As I feared, she is with them now. I am all alone.

On the plus side my research on “Medal Of Honor” is going well. To date I have killed well over 600 Nazi’s and single handedly won the D-Day invasion of Normandy.

Day 7: I have not slept in two days. The boys cannot even turn on the game system without arguing about whose turn it is. They have time limits, but they have organized themselves into a battle hardened group of brats. While one of them plays the Playstation, the others create distractions that cause me to run around the cottage putting out fires, sometimes literally.

I would throw out the game system, but I fear it would cause out right mutiny. I turn to the web for help. I come across a Video Game system timer that works with tokens.

I bought it. Now I pray that we can hold on until our logistical support (FEDEX) arrives with the timer. Unfortunately delivery will be delayed if the temperature in South Carolina goes below 35 degrees and the entire state shuts down. Bread and milk disappear from the shelves of stores and it becomes mandatory for everyone to drive their SUV’s into ditches and telephone poles.

I fear I may never see our off duty quarters again…

Worst part about all of this- The webmaster wins our build off. I can’t even plug in a soldering iron with out having medical support on site. Obviously I need to finally recognize I have absolutely no technical proficiency.

I will post when the timer comes in (If I’m still on this side of eternity) and give a review. -Launch

1 thought on “It’s The End Of The World As We Know It

  1. Absolutely loved the post (I am still giggling) and I have to say thanks. The original link you had, led me to the site that had the exact item I need to build the remote control timer you and I have been wanting.

    I ordered two of them today. If it works like I have planned, I will be able to sit at my computer and reset the timer on the game system, which I figure will save me from burning another 100 calories a day, which should account for another two or three pounds of stored fuel around my midsection this year.

    I will also have an extra one, in case your kids figure out how to make tokens out of dry ice (Tokens made out of dry ice would evaporate in a matter of minutes and if it worked you would never know), or buy an extra PSII video cable at Wal-mart and connect it when you are not looking.

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