Please, oh please bring back the mullet. Back in the day, my mullet reigned supreme. When it was time for a trim, I never put up a fight, as long as they left the back alone. I really thought the mullet would last forever…
Which brings me to todays topic, taking our boys to the barber. If you need a reference point on what it would be like to take seven elementary boys to get a trim, the best I can do is this; Imagine being in a Bull fight, add some soap opera drama, mix in some piercing shrieks and hit yourself in the head with a brick until the pain drops you to your knees. That is pretty close to what happens in our cottage.
The place we take our boys is actually a school for hair stylists. As you can imagine we get a discount and the ladies get some practice. Unfortunately our twelve year old, Jo, likes to act like James Bond picking up a girl at the card table.
Jo also does not take hints very well. During his last session, he asked the hair stylist for her number three times. I then tried to remind Jo that he was twelve and she was twenty-five with two kids and an ex-husband that was stalking her (Amazing the info you pick up when your sitting in a hair salon).
Ray and Ken want designs cut into their hair. I tell them if they want designs I’ll do it, not them. Ken asks me what kind of design I can do. I tell them I’ll gladly shave Houseparent.Net into the back of their heads, I’ll even pay them ten bucks a piece. They both looked very confused and just opted for a fade instead.
Calvin is going through his Rastafarian phase and is working on growing dread locks, without trying to grow them. He just has a rather difficult time with applying the appropriate cleaning material to his head while taking a shower at night. I strongly encouraged him to shave his head, he strongly encouraged me to please go check on Jo, who was trying to talk the stylist into doing his nails. As I was running over to stop Jo from getting a manicure, I noticed Ray had the beginning of some design shaved into the side of his head. I told the lady to go ahead and erase the design. She asked how, I said shave it. Ray began tearing up until I told him he would look like Shaq, just much shorter. He thought that was pretty cool.
Jo was having to much fun with his single mom stylist. I asked the owner if she could hook Jo up with the rest of his hair cut and she gladly obliged. The owner is very nice and very…..grandmotherly. Jo sat in silence for the remainder of the session.
Haircuts are personal. It is especially frustrating when you have your mind set on a look that the rest of “Normal” society frowns on. I’m all about personal expression, but I also know if I would have shown up for an interview at a Children’s home with a Mullet and that scary neck tattoo I’ve been wanting to get, I would be working carnivals with the rest of my kin folk.
I guarantee if I was a kid today, I would be busting a sag with my jeans around butt and boxers hanging out. But, I’m not a kid. I’m an adult trying to teach kids who already have had a rough start, how to be successful in our society and give them the tools for developing a healthy and productive future. Which should be the job of EVERY parent out there.
If you think the barber shop is rough, just wait until it’s time for back to school clothes shopping! -Launch