Overload

Over Worked

This past weekend my wife and I decided to plan a romantic day. We found a babysitter, made some hasty lunch plans at a local sea-food restaurant and planned on enjoying a nice quiet afternoon with no kids, no baby and a strict rule of not discussing any aspect of child care. Not one. 

By habit, I carry my cell phone everywhere. I don’t even take a shower unless my cell is within reach on the towel rack, just in case the President might call and want my personal opinion on his foreign policy. I call it being prepared, my wife calls it paranoia.

So naturally I take my Crackberry PDA/ cell/ walkie-talkie/GPS receiver with me on our romantic escape to the Blue Ocean restaurant, which in hind sight was a bad, bad move. I got a call from a psychiatrist that just finished doing a evaluation on one of our kids the previous week. Why she was calling on a Saturday I’ll never know, but I felt I needed to take the call. 30 minutes into the conversation I happened to glance over at my wife who was waiting for me to finish up the conversation so we could order. I knew I was in trouble by the gleam in her eye and the way she was gnawing on the last hush-puppy. 

The rest of the day that we were off and free of kids was filled with talking about the kids and different projects that we are involved in surrounding kids. Sometimes it’s impossible to disconnect from being a HP when your off. It’s almost like trying to stop thinking about your own kids when they go to Grandmas for the weekend, your glad for the break, but you still wonder and talk about them.

Having to much technology also makes it rather hard to unwind. My office, for example, would make mission control at NASA jealous. They would laugh at my Macintosh, but I’m sure they would find all of the other gadgets rather impressive. I have two printers, and about 10 different USB devices that make pretty green flashing lights. It’s like having Christmas tree lights on all year long. 

My Blackberry cell phone has a walkie-talkie that keeps me and my wife in constant touch. I also get my emails “Instantly”. No more having to wait for my junk mail. My calendar is synced with at least two other computers on campus and alarms go off every time I need to dispense meds, wether I’m on or off duty. If I need to drive somewhere I turn the GPS on and drive off into the sunset with my satellite radio cranked up. 

My portfolio is loaded down with two different calendars (In case the Crackberry dies), treatment plans, medical info, budget spreadsheets and one serious cast iron ruler that doubles as a sword should anyone get out of line in a meeting. 

I have somehow convinced myself I need all of this stuff to survive. Between tracking kids, working on opening another group home, blogging, meetings, church commitments and trying to start a website I have streamlined my schedule, but have scheduled every waking moment devoted to some sort of task. So much for my dream of doing nothing. 

I’m not alone. Fifteen years ago, very few people carried a cell. If you had to talk to someone while you were out, you just had to stop at a gas station and use a pay phone. Somehow our society managed and thrived without cell phones, PDA’s, email GPS units and Microsoft Office. 

We are at a place now where most people don’t even have to go to a store and shop for music, they download it from home. I can’t even imagine where we will be at in 5 years with technology. 

I am going to try to start unplugging. I’m still trying to decide which stuff is a must have for day-to-day life. If my wife gets her way I’m sure the Crackberry will be the first to disappear. -Launch

Oh The Pain.

I loathe all that is Mac.

Nothing but system errors and messages that seem to mock me; System error, System Timeout, Network Unavailable, Contact someone that loves you- AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I have lost spreadsheets that I have poured my very soul into. Spreadsheets that were formatted perfectly. I had layouts that were pleasing to the eye, a tapestry of color. Gone forever.

I have tried, oh how I’ve tried, to get my Mac to do something as mundane as download music, back up my Blackberry or merely connect to the internet (I’m borrowing a laptop at the moment). It’s no use. Everything the Mac touches it destroys.

The final straw came last night. I had just finished unplugging my Blackberry from the beloved Mac only to see all my contact data was erased. As I gently threw my Blackberry across the living room at the wall, I grabbed my Paul Simon CD and put it in the CD drive in the hopes that old Paul would soothe my soul and stop me from chucking the Mac into the backyard.

Instead, itunes starts ripping the CD and formatting it into some evil Mac language and refuses to play the CD. Desperately I tried to eject the CD but the Mac refused to give it up. My wife got a worried look on her face and quickly walked out of the room saying she thought the baby was crying. She wanted no part of this one. I know now what must be done, I can’t risk another human being being cursed with my Mac, it must be destroyed.

I have spent the last few hours trying to think of a fitting demise for my little Mac. Perhaps I should give it to the boys and let them have their way with it. But if I did that, parts from the Mac would be all over the cottage and serve as nothing more than painful reminders for years to come.

Fire would be a decent way to go, but I’m pretty sure I would go to jail for torching it in my backyard.

Maybe a long drive, a nice quiet field and a box of ammo would be a more fitting end. I’m actually leaning that way because it combines my hatred of Mac with my love of firearms, a win-win situation.

I’m open to any suggestions as to how the Mac will meet it’s end. If anyone would like to donate a PC drop me a line. -Launch 

Mac Attack


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I spent the last three days trying to install my new whiz bang toy- a Macintosh. I have never been a Mac man and most of my experience has been with a tried and true PC. Part of the frustration is I’m completely surrounded by mac’s. All of our kids work on mac’s in school and our facility supplies nothing but mac’s for the cottages and administration. I however, have chosen to stay mac free, even to the point of not having a computer in our personal quarters because I’d rather save up enough money for a PC than go the way of the rotten Apple.But, I found a found a deal on a Mac that I could not refuse. Our tech guy on campus is replacing all the old Mac’s with new ones. For 25 bucks I found myself with my first Mac. For that cheap how could I possibly go wrong? I decided to give this Mac a chance. Maybe, just maybe, I’ve been wrong all of these years. So I placed the Mac on my desk in the living room, made a fire, poured a glass of wine and put some Marvin Gaye on the radio to get this relationship on the right footing. I turned the Mac on and everything was moving along smoothly.

I then try and click on itunes to get my new ipod loaded up with some tunes…. Error message. I chuckle, it must be a fluke because Mac never crashes, right? Again I click on itunes, this time I get a network time out error.

Still being open minded about my new Mac experience, I try looking for a customer support number. TWO DAYS LATER I have yet to find a phone number for anyone that can help me.

I have googled and researched how to fix the issues. Unfortunately all the mac forums are full of nothing but disgruntled Mac owners. I did find one guy that shares my frustrations, a fellow Mac hater. (Caution, language is rough in a few areas).

I think as soon as I gather enough cash to get to the store to purchase a new PC, I’ll either donate this piece of junk to the cottage or the rifle range. -Launch