This is just to let everybody know that I am moving The Houseparent Network to a new hosting company. I should have it done by the end of the weekend and that it will be a seamless transition, but there may be some disruptions in the website during that period.
I am hoping everything will be done without issues and everything will work error free, but things don’t usually work that way. When I am done, the problems I have been having with E-mail and my blog will be no more, hopefully.
Thank you for your patience!!!!
UPDATE: Unfortunelately the Members Only Section, Blog and Forum will be down for a period of time during the move. I will do my best to minimise the amount of time they are down and apologize for any inconvenience. I will be upgrading the membership software for the “Members Only” section as part of the move so log-ins should be improved when I am done.
One of the biggest problems with being a houseparent is that it can be one of the most thankless jobs there is. One of our main responsibilities is to help the youth in our care reach important milestones, yet when those milestones are reached you usually have to stand in the shadows while some somebody else celebrates with them.
Last night we had the honor to attend the graduation of a young that we are very proud of. Someone who holds the distinction of being the only member of his immediate family to have graduated high school. Someone who, had he not moved into our cottage when he did, probably never would have. Yet it wasn’t us that he wanted to celebrate with, it was his birth family (a father he hadn’t seen in years and a mother he sees a couple of times a year). We were relegated to standing in the shadows and watching while they all hugged and took photos and more photos and more photos with the graduate.
It reminds me of other situations during the year that we had to stand in the shadows. Like during football season when we had to get up at five in the morning to take him to two a day practices, eat countless cold suppers to pick him up from evening practice, and fighting to stay awake when I picked him up at two in the morning when he had away games. Yet on Senior night, when we were the ones standing there by his side, it is not our names being called; it is the same parents mentioned above.
Same thing for basketball season. Many extra trips to the school. Spending our own money to go watch him play in the state tournament. More late night/early morning pick ups, and again on Senior Night, standing there while somebody else’s name is announced.
Someday he will realize all that we, and many others (sponsors, teachers, pastors, etc.), did for him. Till then we will just keep STANDIN IN THE SHADOWS!!!!!
We so often have to deal with set backs and failures as houseparents and residential staff, I think it’s great when we can see successes. I found this article online about a young lady that spent many years in group/children’s and foster homes that is now a successful wife, mother and social worker.
I think it is a great read for this Mother’s Day, and if you haven’t already, go see or call yours and wish her a happy one.
It’s been a while since I have posted so I just thought I would give some updates.
Things are pretty crazy for us (my wife, family and I) right now because we are in a period of transition. We have officially gone from being houseparents back to being foster-parents. We start moving out of the cottage on Thursday and I will be starting as a full time computer tech/webmaster next week.
I will keep working on The Houseparent Network and will hopefully have more time to write about my previous experiences as well as research other issues relating to houseparenting.
We have several new members to The Houseparent Community these last couple of weeks, hopefully they will start posting and we can get some activity going on there. For those that care, in June when the chat service expires, I will not be renewing it. It does not get enough use to justify the expense.
“The Houseparent Network” group on Facebook is up to 16 members. If you are already on facebook and looking to connect with others please join the group. Just do a search for “The Houseparent Network” and it will come right up.
I am still reading a new book and hopefully will have a review posted for it, in a week or so.
Technology and communications devices are creating a whole new set of issues in residential care. I remember when FRS radios were very popular and kids were using them to communicate within the facility. Today we deal with all the disposable cell phones that are brought into facilities and used by the kids, and now we have a new thing to deal with, the Nintendo DS PictoChat. We have actually had it for a couple of years now, but with almost every kid having one now, it is much more prominent.
PictoChat is a utility that is included with the Nintendo DS that allows up to 16 people to chat at one time wirelessly using their DS. You can either use the virtual keyboard to type your message or you can use the stylus and write a message that you send as a picture. The range is not real good, less than a 100 feet, but there are still many opportunities for the kids to use them. They could easily use them to communicate between rooms in a house/cottage or between vans parked outside the office or school, and if the cottages are built close enough between cottages.
We are currently dealing with a situation where some younger teens were using their DS’s for “SEXTING” (sending sexually explicit test messages) and setting up late night rendezvous for other purposes. I am sure policy changes are coming concerning possession and use of the DS, but it will just be a matter of time before we are dealing with something else.
We are not ever going to be able to stop communication, and I don’t think we should try. We are much better served trying to teach the kids to communicate effectively and positively, but we definitely need to be aware of how the kids are communicating, especially when they are doing it for negative purposes.
When we make ourselves more aware of the issues, we are much better able to help the children and deal with the issues. When we first started dealing with this my wife said, “I had NO idea you could do that with a DS.” Now she is painfully aware that you can.
Well I have to go with at least one more post with a movie theme. I came across a website called snagfilms.com. It has a collection of over 600 documentaries that you can watch for free and also snag for your facebook, blog, website, etc. It has my number one all time favorite documentary, “Super Size Me.” This was one of the inspirations for my dramatic life style change and weight loss.
Other titles that may be of interest to houseparents and residential staff are:
We are Together
The Watershed
HAZE – High School Edition
Happy Ending
5 Girls
American Dream
I encourage you to cruise on over and check it out. I am sure you can find something of interest. Depending on your values and beliefs, you will probably also find something that offends you because of the wide variation in available movies, but I still think this could be a valuable resource.
You are also going to need a broadband connection to view them. Dial up just won’t work.
As promised I want to tell you about another movie. It is called “SAFE HARBOR” and will air May 30, 2009 : 09:00 PM ET / 08:00 PM CT on the Hallmark Channel. It is about Safe Harbor Boys Home in Jacksonville, Florida.
A husband and wife come to realize that waves of change can begin with a single ripple in the Hallmark Channel Original Movie “Safe Harbor,” premiering Saturday, May 30 (9/8c). Based on a true story, “Safe Harbor” stars three-time Golden Globe Award nominee Treat Williams (Everwood) and Nancy Travis (The Bill Engvall Show) as a sea-loving couple who forgo their long-planned retirement when they find a new purpose in helping troubled teenagers turn their lives around.
Doug Smith (Williams) and his wife Robbie (Travis) are a month away from embarking on their dream retirement: Setting sail together and exploring the world on their boat, the Molly Marie. An unexpected visit from Judge Roberts (Orson Bean, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman), an old friend of Dougs, results in the couple reluctantly agreeing to look after some kids for a few days, until room opens up for them in juvenile hall. For Luke (Reiley McClendon, The Flyboys), David (Charlie McDermott, Frozen River) and Billy (Sam Jones III, Smallville), living and working on a rich couple’s boat doesn’t seem all that much better than juvie. But as a few days turn into a few months and more, Doug and Robbie help the boys get back on track, and in turn, the boys will show their mentors that the real treasure isn’t buried on some faraway island – it’s right there in the harbor.
You can learn more about the movie and Safe Harbor Boys Home by, CLICKING HERE
It would seem that now is a good time for movies relating to residential care. Last month Lifetime Network released a moving called “america” it follows a young man that is sent to a residential treatment center.
Considering that it was a movie based on a true story and NOT a documentary, I think it did a pretty good job of capturing the behaviors, feelings and personalities of many of the children that are in placement. My biggest beef with the movie was that it did a poor job depicting the amount of supervision that actually takes place in a residential facility in general, and a very poor job depicting the amount of supervision that actually takes place in a residential TREATMENT facility specifically. If an actual treatment facility did that poor of a job supervising the residents, I think it would be shut down pretty quickly. But had the movie showed the proper amount of supervision, the movie would have missed many of its twists and plots.
It did do a good job of promoting the need for people to participate in the Foster Care System as well as the importance of building relationships with the children in care. One of our kids that watched it, said it was the best movie he ever saw. I think the fact that the kids viewed if favorably says a lot for the movie.
I always enjoy when we are depicted positively in the movies and media, because the vast majority of us do a pretty good job with the resources we have.
For those that missed it or didn’t have access to lifetime, you can watch the entire movie online by going to: http://www.mylifetime.com/on-tv/movies/america/video. They have it broke down into 8 parts, so you don’t have to wait an hour for the whole thing to download. You will need a broadband connection, but the resolution is pretty good, even in full screen on my 15.4″ notebook. I am sure you will lose a lot of resolution if you went much bigger than that.
In my next post I will tell you about a moving that is going to be released in May on another cable network.
I am glad to announce that there is a brand new book available for houseparents and all residential care staff. It is called “EVOLVING Residential Work with Children and Families” by James R. Harris, Jr., Ph.D. It is basically a complete re-write of his original book “Respecting Residential Work with Children.”
Although it is considered a second edition, there is more than enough change to consider it a new and different book. There have been several new chapters added to include: The Impact of No Physical Contact Policies, Managed Care, Mergers, Networks, and Accreditation, and Suggestions for Future Practice. The Workforce Crisis chapter was eliminated but its more important passages are included in this manuscript in various sections. The Educational Needs of Youth in Care chapter was removed but will be available on the authors website for those who are interested.
Another great difference with this book is the price. The original book had a list price of $35, though I paid $33 for my copy at Amazon. The price on this book will be substantially less. In fact, as a benefit to readers of The Houseparent Network, you can order the book directly from the author for only $12 each, which includes shipping!!!!!!
I have started reading my copy and look forward to doing a complete review when I am finished. But in the meantime I wanted to let everyone know that it was available, I am more than confident that it will be worth your expense and time to read it. If it is anything like the original it is one of those books that every new houseparent, administrator, support worker, etc. should read before they ever have their first day on the job.
SPAM is a horrible nasty thing and has caused many people much grief since the beginning of e-mail. It was even a problem before that, it was just called junk mail.
Anyway, there are many things that have been done over the years to try and reduce SPAM. ISP’s (Internet Service Providers) started blocking the ports that spammers used for sending spam. Of course they just started using other ports. There have been countless spam filters that you can install on your computer to try and reduce it. You can block addresses and create filters and do all sorts of other things with the settings on your e-mail program to block it.
The big thing now is for the ISP’s and Web hosts to block it before it ever gets to your inbox. They use all kinds of different devices and programs to accomplish this, and in my case it has reduced the amount of SPAM I receive by about 90%. The only problem, is that it also has blocked some of the e-mails that I want to receive. I have been notified by three different facilities that their e-mails to me have been rejected by my server. I have tried many different settings on my e-mail control panel, and it doesn’t seem to make any difference, those same people keep getting blocked. I have no explanation for it so I am just going to have to do something different.
If you are trying to send me an e-mail and it gets rejected by my E-mail server, there are two things you can do. You can either use the online feedback form here on the website to send me an e-mail or you can use HouseparentNetwork@gmail.com to contact me. If all else fails, please call me at 662.574.1818.
I am sorry for any inconvenience, but the real blame goes to the spammers. If they weren’t such a problem, others wouldn’t have to take such measures to try and deter them.
called “EVOLVING Residential Work with Children and Families” by James R. Harris, Jr., Ph.D. It is basically a complete re-write of his original book “Respecting Residential Work with Children.”