It always seems that salaries, minimum wage, and the “Fair Labor and Standards Act” are always topics of conversations with houseparents so I am always looking for information to share. I was doing some searching of the Internet for more information relating to houseparents and I came across two more “Department of Labor Opinion Letters”. They are both from 2004.
The first deals with wages and having to stay on the facility during sleep hours. For most of us, this is not an issue because we are not going to waste what precious sleep hours we get by wanting to leave (Humor!). I am posting it as a general resource for those that it may apply to, keeping in mind that the DOL considers all situations on a case by case basis, so it may not apply to your situation directly.
The second one deals with the Fair Labor and Standards Act (FLSA) as it applies to workers/houseparents in a residential facility. As I discovered in another “Opinion Letter” (FLSA2005-2) it confirms for the vast majority of us, we are not covered by the FLSA under the “enterprise” condition because we work for Non-profit organizations and don’t do enough interstate commerce to be covered individually under the FLSA.
Disclaimer: This is posted for informational purposes only. The DOL considers all cases individually so this information may not apply to you or your facility. If you have questions concerning you status under the FLSA you would need to contact the Department of Labor (DOL)
My wife and I are empty nesters who are prayerfully considering becoming first-time houseparents. We feel called to work in a Christian maternity home. Can you offer advice for this particular ministry? We have about 9 months to prepare. Are there any courses or books that would help prepare us? We would love to contact other couples currently working in this field to ask some questions.
Thanks,
gotime
Mike’s Response
“Can you offer advice for this particular ministry?”
I am afraid you caught me outside of my specialty, all my experience is working with youth. You will hear this again, but I strongly suggest joining the “Houseparent Network Community“ You can post your question on the forum and hopefully somebody that has experience with maternity homes will have an answer.
“We have about 9 months to prepare. Are there any courses or books that would help prepare us?”
I don’t know of courses specific for maternity homes but I can recommend taking foster parenting classes. They are usually offered for free through the state. I still use much of the information I learned in classes we took almost 15 years ago. As far as books go, there are a few I recommend for all houseparents:
No Such Thing As a Bad Kid!: Understanding and Responding to the Challenging Behavior of Troubled Children and Youth – By: Charles D. Appelstein
They Cage The Animals At Night: The true story of an abandoned child’s struggle for emotional survival – By: Jennings Michael Burch
“They Cage The Animals At Night” isn’t a training resource as far as techniques go, but it is extremely helpful in giving you an understanding of the feelings of children that are in placements. It also gives you a perspective for the kind of worker you don’t want to be, as well as examples of the kinds of people that are great workers.
“We would love to contact other couples currently working in this field to ask some questions.”
Second verse same as the first! Join theCommunityand post your questions and comments. I am pretty sure somebody will have some information for you. If not, at the very least they will have some encouragement!
If anybody has any other ideas or you would like to add something, just register and add your comments.
If you would like to “Ask Mike” your own question, pleaseclick here
My husband and I are interested in ministering to hurting children. There are a few obstacles we must and will overcome. My husband has a criminal record. He is a convicted felon with an armed robbery charge. He has no record of violence, nor sexual or child abuse. He also does not have his drivers license, but I do and could be the one who is responsible for driving. Please advise us if we would be considered for any of the many positions that are available.
In Christ
Searching
Mike’s Response
I am a firm believer in redemption and turning a person’s life around, however I am not sure that state regulations will view it the same way. Most states and facilities require a criminal background investigation, and though I am sure there are exceptions, I think an “armed robbery conviction” would disqualify you in most cases.
The lack of a driver’s license poses an additional problem. In the vast majority of facilities, both houseparents have to be able to drive. There are many times when both my wife and I have to be in different places with different children. Every single day we have to drive kids to different schools at the same time. I think your only hope of finding a place where you both don’t have to drive would be in a very urban facility or one that was totally self-contained.
I think it is going to be very difficult for you to find employment as a houseparent couple. One option you may consider is a facility where only you (the wife) would work at the facility and your husband had a job outside the home. Many maternity homes operate this way as well as some smaller facilities. Your husband may still need a background check to live in the home with you, but they may make an exception if he is not working with the residents of the home.
I hope you are able to find a facility where you can serve but I am afraid that your options are going to be very limited.
If anybody has any other ideas or you would like to add something, just register and add your comments.
If you would like to “Ask Mike” your own question, pleaseclick here
I recently talked with one of the Alumni here that grew up in our facility during the 1970’s. Our conversation was about how much our campus has changed from when he was a kid up to the present day. Overall he was very impressed by the program and overall atmosphere of the entire facility.
Back in his day, corporal punishment was an everyday part of life. How punishment was dealt out completely dependent on what cottage you lived in. One cottage in particular was infamous for the spankings/ beatings the old lady dished out. Other cottages seemed to be fair when it came to receiving a whipping.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m the first guy to start cheering when I see a mother spanking the daylights out of a four year old throwing a tantrum in the check out line. Spanking, when used with calmness, love and straightforwardness is an absolutely wonderful tool that should be used with every child growing up in a healthy family.
In residential child care, corporal punishment is almost a thing of the past. I have only met one couple that worked at a home where spanking was still allowed under special circumstances. Thankfully, spanking is not acceptable in most places. I say that because it takes responsible adults to properly use corporal punishment as a behavioral correction tool. But in residential child care, any corporal punishment administered to a child without clearly defined guidelines and supervision would lead to outright abuse. Not to mention one really pissed off kid that will someday qualify for a handgun permit and an axe to grind.
I’ll admit, there are several times throughout the day that I say to myself “All this little snot needs is one good spanking to reallign his attitude”. But as much as I know it would do a certain five year old a world of good, I know that for the greater good residential child care can never return to those days.
As for my kids, I will most definitly spank them. Do you remember the expression “This will hurt me more than it hurts you”? Not me. Daddy don’t play games when comes to laying the smack down. I have never regretted a single spanking that I gave my boys or daughter, because I know that establishing clear and well defined boudaries is essential for them to develop healthy social skills.
Any thoughts or discussion on this topic are encouraged. I understand that many people who read this blog will not agree with my thoughts or practice. So I encourage discussion, till then, whip it good…. -Launch
I often get e-mails from people that are very frustrated with the Christian Facility that they work for because it is just not Christian enough for them. I am sorry to say that the situation is only going to get worse. I have been following a court case for the last few years and it has reached its end since the Supreme Court has decided not to hear it.
The Case is: Teen Ranch, et al. v. Udow I will give you links for the court documents so you can read it in detail, but it basically boils down to this. Teen Ranch, a facility that has been serving teen through the state since 1966 sued the State of Michigan Family Independence Agency (“FIA”) because they issued “a moratorium on further placements” of children with the agency. When they (the FIA) stopped placing children with Teen Ranch, Teen Ranch lost their major source of funding and eventually had to close. I am NOT a lawyer, but it appears to me by reading the court documents, that FIA believed “that Teen Ranch coerced children into participating in religious activities.” and wanted them to stop the “incorporation of religious practices into its programming“.
Teen Ranch felt that this was a violation of their “First Amendment” rights and filed a lawsuit against the FIA. They also felt it was a violation of other consitutional rights, but the main point is the free speech issue. Teen Ranch stated that they did not force the children in their care to participate in religious activities and therefore met their contractual obligation with the state and was unwilling to change its practices.
“On September 29, 2005, the district court issued an opinion granting summary judgment in favor of the FIA.” On January 17, 2007 the UNITED STATES COURT OF APPEALS FOR THE SIXTH CIRCUIT agreed with the District Court. Teen Ranch then filed an appeal with the US Supreme Court, who decided not to hear the case in December 2007. Apparently I am a little slow in getting up to date since it is now August 2008.
Anyway, what I think all this means is that most Christian facilities (or any faith based facility) will continue to be allowed to care for youth in state care at state expense, provided they limit the “religious activities” in their programs. I think in most cases, Facilities that want to include their faith or religious beliefs as part of their program are going to have to be completely funded without any government subsidy. In the facility that I work at, we cannot even have state placed children, period, even though we take NO government funding. I think more and more faith based facilities are going to have to make choices between their faith and their budgets, because this case is only going to further restrict how faith based organizations operate if they accept government funding.
For further reading on this case check out the following links:
Board, check. Sunglasses, check. Ipod loaded with gangsta rap, check. Helmet, don’t need it. Shoes, this is the South are you kidding me? Buddy to create major distraction while I grab the bumper of a car going by at thirty miles an hour, check.
The above is the thought process of a ten year old boy who actually believes that he will live forever as long as there are buckets of Neo-Sporin laying around for him to bath in after all major mishaps. He also lives in my cottage.
Back in my House Parenting greenhorn days, I use to think that kids I saw limping around on crutches or big bandaged heads were caused by a lack of proper supervision from the House Parents. Now I see a kid on crutches and think to myself that it’s just a stupid kid. Sometimes I even ask them what they did before I call them an idiot. 99.9% of the time I hear stuff like:
“I crawled out my window with a trash bag as a parachute. Jimmy said it would work”.
“Dude I was doing a rail slide down the office hand rail when the board broke and I had to have my testicles retwisted(?) at the ER”.
“He said something about my mom. What? Oh yeah, I knew he was way bigger than me, in a gang, four years older and 65 pounds heavier than me. But you know I gotta represent my hood”. (Actual quote from a boy living in Garrett County, Maryland. The hood he refers to was a mostly Mennonite community and the gang was an active hunting club, which I suppose could be considered a gang with strong Anabaptist traditions?).
The point is this, young males are morons. They have a sense of immortality mixed with just enough knowledge to kill themselves or at the very least brag about how many stitches they have had to endure. If you feel like a failure because one of the kids in your charge got hurt- don’t. It happens to all of us. Of course there is neglect. If your watching TV while Johnny is in the backyard doing donuts with the new cottage van that you left the keys in, chances are your getting a butt chewing, at the very least.
Many facilities that have state placement kids live in almost constant fear of a lawsuit and do every thing they can to restrict the shear stupidity that testosterone does to a young mans mind. They do not allow sports, rough play or any physical group activity. I have seen and unfortunately, worked for such a facility. The kids became caged animals and reacted as such. With no creative outlet for frustration or aggression they became extremely violent. It was a case of the supposed therapeutic environment actually creating a behavior that was much worse than when the kid checked into the program.
Sports, physical play and work all play a part in helping to keep a check on adolescent behavior. Keep a kid inside all day watching Sponge Bob and you will surely have a mad man on your hands. I try to find at least one outdoor event to do every day of the week, even when it’s raining. For all intents and purposes it has worked, the only one with a weight problem in the cottage is me. Ironically I’m also the only person who struggles with pent up aggression, TV and Internet addiction and insomnia (It might be time for Daddy to start taking his happy pills). Yep, outdoor living will cure what ails you, unless your dealing with some kinda clinical depression brought on by dealing with adolescent behavior.
Boys are going to be boys, its been that way since the beginning and it will be that way till the end. Get use to it……. and the ER. -Launch
I realize that the vast majority of people reading this blog would never even consider riding a bike, but this video has a great song and I gotta give some love to the bros out there doing ministry in many different capacities, including residential childcare.
There is a saying among many Christian Bikers that can just as easily be applied to all House Parents: Some wish to live within the sound of church or chapel bells, we want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell!
Jesus the Biker- He was a lot like you and me. The government didn’t like him. The church thought he was weird. His friends were few. What friends he had, denied him. He was persecuted by hypocrites. He hung around people like you and me, not the goody-two-shoes Pharisees.
Yes, if Jesus were on this earth in the flesh he would be next to you on his Harley telling you he loved you……. enough to die for you.
BIKER’S PRAYER God, I know you are real. Thank you for being in the wind with me even before I ask. Thank you for your son, JESUS that died for me. Forgive me of my sins; for I truly repent and turn to you.
JESUS, I ask you now to come in my heart that we might ride together daily.
I dedicate myself and my scoot to serving you. Thank you LORD for my salvation!
Thank you, for I am now “in HIS Wind”. Amen
Much love and peace to all the brothers and sisters out there representing the living God with their knees in the wind. -Launch
Working in residential child care has many challenges. Aggressive children, killer loads of paper work, nasty demeaning case workers, parents on crack (Literally), staff miscommunication and nails driven into your bike tires (Long story).
But nothing makes a mess of life in general than an elicit affair on campus. Stick around this industry long enough and you will run into the rumors, innuendos and eventual expose of a little dirty love on the down low. Unfortunately, most rumors about an affair on campus that go through the grapevine turn out to be true.
Most facilities that insist on hiring singles as House Parents, are fairly use to the drama associated with staff relationships. The facility I got my start in was such a place and was constantly dealing with relationship issues. They discouraged couples from working together and would place them in separate cottages to work with the opposite sex as a partner. When I asked why they did this they said “Married couples do not work well together”.
The problem becomes when you have a grown man and a grown woman, modeling family style living in a cottage to highly disturbed children that want both of you dead. Day in and day out you work side by side living in some kind of weird, pseudo, pretend marriage. Your doing everything a married couple does with the exception of sharing a bed, which starts becoming more and more imaginable as time goes on. It’s simply a mixture of stress, hormones, a little easy rock and a bad day. Pretty soon the kids are talking and the two of you are doing a lot of justifying.
Facilities that are promoting “Family Style” living without there being a family are deceiving themselves and the kids. No facility should ever try to run a residential child care program with live in staff that are not married. If hiring or finding couples is that much of an issue, a facility needs to seriously consider hiring individuals for shift work. And for the sweet love of God, do not call yourself a Christian facility and force your staff to work as a couple with other people of the opposite sex.
All of this may seem to be a no-brainer, but I know of quite a few people who have taken a fall because of some weak moments and a bad work set up.
Just a piece of advice to my homies caught in a dysfunctional group home setting- save the Pina Coladas and moon lit strolls for the wife. It’s not worth being homeless for…. -Launch
Morning routines are hard enough without having to deal with the drama of fighting over what the kids wear to school. I gave up long ago with trying to power struggle over trying to reason with a kid over a more appropriate shirt or pair of pants. So what do I do now? They either wear appropriate attire or they go nowhere, not even school.
Over the years the boys would “conveniently” lose belts, socks and shoe strings, with the intention of “If I ain’t got it, I can’t wear it”. They soon learned that My wife had ultimate control over their allowance account and they got real upset over buying the exact same belt, three times a month.
Anyone that knows me will tell you I’m all about personal expression and being yourself. My wardrobe consists of leather, flannel, a suit and one red crushed velvet shirt (everyone should own at least one). I have tattoos and a shaved head, I’m fairly certain a modeling contract is not in my future unless there’s a trailer park out there looking to put out a calendar. But this is who I am and unfortunately for my wife, this is who she married. Having said that, there is also a time and place for my personal wardrobe expression.
When conducting a meeting, doing tours of the cottage and especially intake meetings, I dress business casual. Every time I am in a position to represent my facility, I will dress for the occasion. Just as when I am wearing my biker colors I represent my club. Likewise every time a kid steps out of your house and onto the school bus they are representing you and your facility. If you don’t take the time to teach them the appropriate boundaries when it comes to proper attire, you will be embarrassed. Nothing says “Skank” like a G-String poking out the back of a pair of jeans worn by your fourteen year old little girl. Let your boys go to school busting a sag with a T-shirt that’s four times larger than them and they will hang with the gangsta wannabe’s. Don’t believe me? Think back to your own high school career. What did the stoners look and act like? What about the red necks and all the other cliques? That’s my point, at this stage kids will act according to what clique they style themselves after.
There is little you can do if a kid chooses that lifestyle, but you still have control over the wardrobe, even if the kid is a state placement. I have threatened on more than one occasion to replace a kids wardrobe with Amish apparel.
I understand it is a battle, but teaching a child that you dress for the occasion will go a long way in helping them to succeed in social settings, long after they have left your care. -Launch
