Has anyone ever told our “therapists” that there is more to problems kids face than the so called “abuse” they have been through. I have seen to many therapists focus to much on so called abuse that some kids have faced, and not enough attention on what they listen to. I am a houseparent going on 4 years now, and recently I picked up some CD’s that our kids have here at the home. Inside the CD’s was the insert that had the words to all the songs on the CD. I was utterly floored at some of the words, phrases, trash and garbage that are on these CD’s that our kids pump in their minds all the time by these portable CD players they carry around all the time listening to this garbage. MOST of the songs on the CD’s dealt with sex, demons, suicide, rape, killing, hate and violence. BUT, when you mention this to the therapists, they act like its no big deal. COME ON people, the human brain is like a computer, what you put in is what comes out. Like the Bible plainly says, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he”. If our kids are pumping this trash in their minds all the time, maybe we need to not be so focused on the fact that “Little Johnnie or Susie” has been abused, but focus more attention on what “Little Johnnie or Susie” is pumping into their minds 24/7. NO WONDER our kids are so full of anger, violence, sexually active and troubled. Let’s pay more attention to what they are LISTENING to and WATCHING on TV……trash in…..trash out!!!
IF…you have any thoughts on this, please post them here.
I AGREE 100%!! MEDIA IS A VERY POWERFUL & OVERLOOKED FORCE IN OUR YOUTH CULTURE. OUR SOCIETY IN GENERAL IS IN DEEP DECEPTION OF THE IMPACTING POWER OF MUSIC, VIDEO, & NOW INTERNET. SCARY HOW MUCH IT HAS PROGRESSED IN THE LAST 20 YRS WITHOUT MUCH NOTICE.
Although I am a firm believer in the “Garbage in – Garbage Out” Principle and we are very vigilante (and are fortunate that we are allowed to be) to limit the type of entertainment that our children (Birth and Home) are exposed to.
However, I don’t believe that the root of the problem can be traced to inappropriate music and movies. The entire culture that these children come from affects every aspect of the child’s behavior. And it is a DIFFERENT Culture in most cases. I don’t mean an ethnic culture, many times it is a culture based on drug abuse, or poverty, crime, etc.
I am also appalled at the amount of trash these kids listen to. Funny though because I listened to some 80’s music the other day and I couldn’t believe the message that was sent through songs I thought were pretty tame. I came out ok I think.
Are you able to watch what things come in your cottage? I know at our home, the kids know they aren’t allowed to listen to any CD that has the parental advisory on it. If they do have something, it is taken from them and they are given consequences. Also, if they are listening to it in the cottage or van where others can hear, they earn consequences for any bad words that come out of the radio. When consistent, the kids are quick to jump and change the station to something more appropriate. Walmart has CD’s of the popular singers/rappers with the bad words edited out – I don’t think (and I could be wrong) that they sell any parental advisory CD’s at all. Hope this helps!
Where I work the kids aren’t allowed any cd’s or tapes at all and they are not allowed to watch any music channels either.
Even if you buy the cds at Walmart what difference does it make its not like the kids dont know what real words go in place of the edited words.
Personally I don’t care what movies my teenagers watch as long as they’re not rated R PG -13 and less, as far as music goes they can’t listen to parentally advised cds but I don’t care what radio station they have on their walkmans, they have been listening and watching stuff for years already and only letting them watch G movies isn’t going to make a difference in their treatment.
I have 8 girls between 12 – 18 all higher levels of care and they all behave pretty well, I have about 1 restraint every six months or so and most of he older kids have jobs and they all pass in school yet when I worked at a facility where they could only watch g or pg movies and could barely have any CDs those kids were in restraints a couple of times a week hardly any of them had jobs and a lot of them were failing in school so I don’t think what they listen to or watch makes a difference either way.
I agree that music can build up or tear down a kid’s spirit. All one has to do is watch how they act out after listening to certain music. In the place I work there are rules against raunchy, lewd music. But the kids still have it. One day I was in one of the girls bedroom. I looked down and saw a homemade cd that had written on it , “F@@k da police..” I confiscated this cd but another girl found it and returned it to the owner. I informed the hp about the content of the cd and they just sighed and said, “OH! These teens and their music!”
“I worked at a facility where they could only watch g or pg movies and could barely have any CDs those kids were in restraints a couple of times a week hardly any of them had jobs and a lot of them were failing in school so I don’t think what they listen to or watch makes a difference either way.”
That statement alone would give me ca
use to wonder if “Control” was not an issue and problem of the staff and not so much the result of children’s behavior. I agree that the music has less effect on the kids and more on us.
Having worked for 2 years in a Level 12 facility in California that was totally “Hands Off” with some very tough kids I simply don’t believe in the need for “restraints” at all.
There are better ways.
But if you are into controlling too many things that are really out of your control how can you effect any positive change in the youth?
Although I prefer Neal Diamond and good Country music, the music youth prefer is reflective of the environment they are growing up in and the most you can hope for is take the energy they are looking to channel through the music and focus it in other areas.
Try sitting down and listing to some of their music with them and questioning them on what it means to them. A lot of times they are only listening to it because “everyone else does” and have no concepts for the words or meanings in the words. I’ve seen kids start to question themselves after really stopping to think about the words and message.
Unless you are on a closed campus with a private school this is a battle that requires far too much energy for little effective outcome.
To add to the comment I wrote before regarding music, I think worrying too much about the cds and movies our kids are watching and listening to is nit picking.
All kids both abused and not abused listen to all kinds of music with inappropriate language by the time a kid is nine or ten most kids are familiar with every bad word or phrase there is regardless of how or where they grow up even if you think they aren’t.
The words they listen to may seem shocking to some of you but it’s the way the kids talk. They are listening to language they know and things they feel. Don’t nitpick with them just because they enjoy something a lot of the older generation houseparents don’t understand. Listening to cds that have the F word in them is hopefully the worst thing most of these kids ever do.
And someone earlier said you should see the way some of these kids act after listening to their music well you should pay more attention to the way they act after coming back from their therapists.
Nit picking about CD’S and movies is like the cop on a power trip who goes after some kids loitering on a corner or soaping up car windows instead of worrying about the guy down the street who’s robbing someone’s house.
These kids have such little control over their lives at the moment. don’t look to take away some of the few things they can enjoy. They need to be learning to make their own choices now not when their 18 and on their own. Maybe leaving care when they can stay in just so they can listen to a stupid CD or watch a freaking movie.
I do not think it is a matter of control so much as what is the issue you are dealing with. We have groups with such diversity of problems. I do not always think it is the rating so much as the content. I do however for the sake of group peace have to set guidelines and some things are just not accepted for public hearing or viewing
GA Sheriffs’ Youth Homes
We have the same issues with music on our campus. We do encourage the boys to appreciate all types of music. Several of the boys have asked for guitars at Christmas time. They are forming their own band on campus. They have kept it clean